On one hand, yes, they have to get your interests. On the other hand, they have to decide to continue the conversation, first.
First impressions tend to be magnified. An answer of "it's a pen-name" says you're the type of professional who needs/uses a pen-name. An answer of "I felt like it" says that you're in the habit of doing things that are odd/strange without a reason, which may raise red flags. An answer of "it's because I'm a furry; let me tell you about the fandom" says that you're an eccentric whose life revolves around that fandom to some degree.
Any or all of the above might be true, and none of the above are necessarily bad things. But your first few sentences of conversation with someone will be what they use to decide who you are (your "core nature", their guess as to the things that make you tick), and because they're working on very limited data, they'll take whatever you present to them and run with it. That's why being aware of how you present yourself and fine-tuning your own first impression cues is important.
This applies to pretty much all first impressions, not just flirting. It's one of the many things about interpersonal communication that I learned far later than I should have.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2013-02-09 09:19 am (UTC)First impressions tend to be magnified. An answer of "it's a pen-name" says you're the type of professional who needs/uses a pen-name. An answer of "I felt like it" says that you're in the habit of doing things that are odd/strange without a reason, which may raise red flags. An answer of "it's because I'm a furry; let me tell you about the fandom" says that you're an eccentric whose life revolves around that fandom to some degree.
Any or all of the above might be true, and none of the above are necessarily bad things. But your first few sentences of conversation with someone will be what they use to decide who you are (your "core nature", their guess as to the things that make you tick), and because they're working on very limited data, they'll take whatever you present to them and run with it. That's why being aware of how you present yourself and fine-tuning your own first impression cues is important.
This applies to pretty much all first impressions, not just flirting. It's one of the many things about interpersonal communication that I learned far later than I should have.